Confessions of a beating heart

I'd like to take a moment
To reflect
To confess
After all, we are best friends aren't we?
My heart breaks
And cracks
And mends
In a cycle
A cycle
That never ends.
Your one of the reasons you know,
Why my heart can be cold
Why I never cry
I ran out of those salty
Bitter tears
Over you.
So many shed droplets
You could have saved me from.
How hard is it for me to say
'I love you'?
Impossible.
You don't care for me that way anyway
You never did.
You got my hopes up,
I could say
You led me on
Unintentionally,
But never less
The damage has been done.
Besides,
I have a boyfriend
You have a boyfriend.
Even now
It's a bit hard to wrap my mind
My foolish brain
Around that fact.
There were signs
Warnings
Things that told me the truth
But my feelings refused
Told me they were wrong
That they were
Lies
Coincidence
Jokes.
I didn't want to believe it,
I still foolishly clung
Like a drowning man
To the hope of otherwise.
I know you don't care for me that way
You can't.
It's impossible with
Who
You
Are.
And I accept that.
It's just,
No matter
Who
I'm with,
Who
You're with,
My feelings
For you
Never seem to fade.
Even when I try to hate
To shun your company,
Ignore your presence.
Your existence.
After time I can't stand it,
I love
To be around you.
You make me laugh
You make me cringe
You make me want to hurt you so badly I can't stand you.

So I'll let the past go
Let you go
Let everyone else
Go.
And let us toast to another year as best friends
And I just want you to know
That as long as I've known you
As long as I'll know you,
I love you.
And you don't have to return
These sentimental words,
I just wanted you to know
That no matter where you are
Or who you're with
There's someone out there
Who loves you
And hopes you live
A long
Happy
Life.

And may you find someone whom you can return their love.